Children with scarring

How does scarring affect children, part 1

This month and in January 2025 I’m addressing the critical topic of children and how they are affected by scarring.

The scars may be from congenital issues that require immediate surgery after birth. They may be from surgery in their early years. Some, like burns, may happen in the house – often it is the tipping of scalding water over the face and upper chest as the toddler reaches up to grab a saucepan on the stove.  However the scars are caused, they have the following potential effects on the child.  Of course, there are effects on the family as well – this conversation can run deep!  But let’s focus on the children for the moment.

1. Fear – when I have worked on children or adults who had a childhood injury/surgery, they often have a fear of being touched. With children I don’t wear white to work on them; white can bring back medical associations and stir unpleasant memories.
   
2. Pain – the pain from the experience can stay with the child – in the memory or in actuality. However, it is never too late to work on a scar; even those that are decades old usually respond well and pain can be helped as the taut, tough scar tissue aggravating the nervous system is eased.
   
3. Self-consciousness – if a child is perceived as being deformed by the scar, they can be subject to bullying at school and/or self-hate/dislike. They may cover up the scar with clothes, refusing to wear clothing that reveals that area of their body. If the scar is allowed to become a major issue, a child may never get over this and it can affect future relationships, the jobs they choose, the sports they do, etc.
   
4. Touch – if nobody wants to touch the child’s scar, the child will learn dislike of it as well. Touch is important – it implies acceptance. Acceptance and like of, or at least a lack of negativity towards the scar is vital.
   
5. Mutilation – in cases of male and female circumcision, the latter gets most attention in the Press. However, circumcision of little boys has been shown to also leave its mark. ‘Research into male circumcision has associated it with severe pain, “increased irritability, varying sleep patterns and changes in infant-maternal interaction”, changes to developing neural pathways and other responses (Goldman 1999).’[1]
   
6. Emotional dampening – the experience can leave a child emotionally held back, shy, fearful, etc. Work to the scars can help bring out their real personality.

How can we help a child cope with a scar and even celebrate it?

1. By being unafraid of touching the scar and encouraging the child to touch and explore it.
2. By reinforcing what a wonderful thing the scar is because the surgery helped the child to be well, mobile, look more like other children….etc as appropriate.
3. By teaching a child to honour the scar as part of his/her body. School bullying does not work if the child has no doubts about how positive the scar is and is unafraid to show it or discuss it.
4. By always reinforcing the positive, and our love for the child and who they are.

In the case of facial or other visible burns, this is a more difficult situation as the scarring can be severe and disfiguring. Treatment for burns in hospitals is improving rapidly. With the ScarWork I practise and teach we are often able to help burned tissue soften and become more pliable. Loving a child and teaching them a strong sense of self-worth and self-love will help them deal with the situation better. I talk more about the emotional aspects of scarring in chapter 8 of my book referenced below.

How can we help you?
At Body in Harmony Training we train complementary therapists of all modalities in Sharon Wheeler’s ScarWork, a remarkable, light touch approach to scars and adhesions. We regularly run courses in the UK and abroad, and welcome people as ‘scar models’, for free work by the supervised students. Although we are unable to accept young children, we are happy to welcome some older children/teenagers accompanied by a parent/caregiver, after a discussion with the latter.

To find a therapist in the UK and USA click here.

[1] P. 107, Scars, Adhesions and the Biotensegral Body (2020). Eds: Trewartha, J.E., Wheeler, S.L. Handspring Publishing